The key theme lately seems to be exhaustion. A lot of change in the air right now. I’m eventually going to move out of my current house. The plan is to move back with my parents at least for a bit. That may not even happen. I kind of want a place on my own. I like the idea of having my own space, my own little kingdom if you will. It’s a little scary since I haven’t lived on my own before, but I figure it will be worth a go.
Point is, I think I’ll be fine whatever happens. I have a lot of optimism about the future even if the daily grind might seem a bit much.
And still…I’m hacking away at Origins. The book will become monstrous. Well, monstrous in the sense that it will be much longer than the projected 40,000 words. Something more like 60. The readers will get more bang for their buck, but I feel like I need at least that long to tell the story without rushing it. A lot of Apocalypse was rushed because I wanted to keep it short. It made it very action-packed, but at the same time it caused some of the characters to get written off the stage quite early. In Origins, I’m hoping to juggle all the story lines and plots effectively, trying to find that right balance between the characters and action.
After posting this I plan on hitting the keyboard again. I’m going to do some night writing, which I don’t do too often these days except on weekends. I’m feeling up to it, so why not? I just woke up from a short nap so I think I can manage.
Writing is kind of a weird. It balances working in silence and promoting the crap out of what you’re doing once it’s done. I probably advertise/talk about my writing more than the average writer, but it’s because I find it interesting (even if others don’t). Right now, I’m in that phase where I’m not being noticed. A writer is by nature a desperate person. I don’t really know why but that seems to be the trend. I’m getting better at it, though. I’m starting to have more confidence in my words and stories and not taking things so personally when flaws are pointed out or it’s not 100 percent (because it never will be). As long as I can put out the best possible story I can in the time I’ve given myself, I think I’m glad. I’m grateful for all that I’ve learned about trying to make a professional product/platform, and I’m still building both as I write this. I only wish I had more time for it.
I learned everything I know now just from doing. I was in a rut for a while, both in life and in writing. I’m not sure exactly what it was, but I just couldn’t find the motivation I lacked. Something snapped in me in late November of 2012. I think I recognized that this is what I wanted, and just started doing it – and the more I learned and did it, it became an addition. Any time I experience a small success, it’s a rush. On a day where I don’t get a single sale, it gets me down…until I notice some the next day, and I feel better.
What is success, to me? I’m still trying to figure that out. Definitely the main component is brightening someone’s day by providing an entertaining escape, at least for a little bit. Also part of that is selling more than a few copies a day, not because I want riches, but if I had could support myself from my writing, it would make me really proud. To me that’s a huge accomplishment, because that’s something that’s really hard to do and takes a lot of hard work, talent, dedication, and not giving up. It takes thick skin. Mettle. Gumption, if you will.
But at the same time, I don’t think I’ve earned it yet. I’ve only been seriously doing this for three months now. I don’t think the universe gives us things easily, because then we don’t appreciate them as much. We only appreciate what we have to work for, that way when we point at what we did and what we accomplished, it actually means something when we say, “That thing, over there? Yeah. That was me. It’s pretty neat, huh?”
I think I know how to tell a story now, although there’s always room for improvement there. I still need to become more clear cut, writing, presentation, and promoting.
A lot of it is just setting manageable goals. I used to set weird goals, like, “I want to make a living off writing.” It’s a weird goal because I have no control over that today. I can say, “I will write 1,000 words today,” or “I will try to have the book ready to go online by the end of March (by writing 1,000 words a day and doing a whole bunch of other stuff),” or “I will do this giveaway this weekend,” or “I will solicit X amount of blogs.” There’s no magic formula. I’m sure there are lots of writers who write well and promote the hell out of their stuff, with hardly any results. I’m sure there’s some that just put something out there, forget about it, and it takes off, and the laws of logic cannot fathom the reason why.
Rare is the reader that will take the chance on an unknown author. Everyone who buys books buys a book because everyone buys that book. I think people are also love a pretty cover, and an intriguing first page.
I’ve been realizing a lot that it’s a numbers game, and a lot is involved – none of which I can control. But then again, my odds of success go way up if I have ten books out there, rather than one. The benefits of self-pubbing is that you can work much faster…you set your own pace, and don’t have to jump through all the hoops that can take months, and even years. There are the down sides – oh yes there are, but right now, the self-pubbing thing is where it’s at for me.
Like anything in life, the more you put yourself out there with writing, the more chance you have of getting lucky. Fortune favors the bold, or something like that.
And thusly concludes another of my madman ramblings. Back to that writing thing.