To be completely honest, life has sort of been kicking my butt lately. Who would have ever thought raising a one-year-old with most of your family living a thousand miles away in a new city where you don’t know anyone would be difficult? *Laughs nervously*
Basically, my wife and I have been dead tired all the time. When you’re dead tired it’s hard to motivate yourself to crank out a couple of thousand words on a daily basis. Which is kind of what it takes if you want to be financially successful at writing books (at least, from what I’ve found).
I’m so tired that I can barely even follow whatever audiobook I’ve been listening to. I’m not an audio person, by the way, since I have a hard time listening when other things are going on. But I have no other way to “read.”
As an author, reading is necessary to keep the creative juices flowing. I have about 30 minutes at the end of the day where I have the luxury to open my Kindle, which has always been my main way to unwind.
The best time I’ve found to write is early in the morning, maybe 5:30 a.m. or so, but that means going to bed by 10 p.m. and praying The Child mostly sleeps through the night w. Last night he probably woke us up every hour or two, which is rough. Especially when it happens most nights.
Of course, when I don’t have the energy to write, I have less energy to do other things I’m supposed to be doing as an author as well. Sending out my newsletter semi-regularly, maintaining a consistent calendar, posting on my author page or website. These things are simple to do but it’s easy for them to fall by the wayside when you’re in a situation like mine.
How do you balance writing from home when you have a young child? I feel a bit guilty about not doing enough writing-wise and also guilty about not being present as much as I would like.
I’m glad I set the release date for Book 5 so far in advance, but I’m starting to feel doubt that I can even meet it. It felt bad having to make people wait that long. In my ideal world, I’d be putting out a new book every 2-3 months, but with things the way they are, I’ll be lucky to get out 3 books a year in the future.
I’m about 25,000 words into Book 5, or about a quarter done, and two months have gone by since the release of Chosen of the Manifold. So basically, I have two more months to have a final product to send to my editor and then the ARC team.
And to be honest, I’ve been so tired that it’s hard to be excited about the series as I was before. I hate that because I do love the story and I love writing, but I feel like a lot of that is being sucked away just because of exhaustion.
I want to be present for my kid, but I also want to put a book out. And I also want to stay sane by taking care of myself. I feel like I can only choose two of those three things, and at the moment, I’m choosing to stay sane while taking care of my child, with odd bits of work thrown at the book whenever I can spare the time. Maybe I just need to drop the sanity bit.
I love my kid. He’s cute, I love playing with him, I love having all the moments I’m having with him, but the sleep-deprivation bit is something no one can really prepare you for. When it’s just the two of us, there are really no sanity breaks other than nap time and going to bed at night, and random family visits that happen once every couple of months.
Sorry if any of this sounds “woe is me” but it’s my blog so there you have it.
Hopefully, I can find a way to get back into it. Maybe it’s just been one of those days. At this point, on those days where I happen to get enough sleep, it feels like a superpower.
So, in case you’ve been wondering why I’ve been so quiet, it’s because I’m in the trenches of parenthood, trying to balance things to the best of my ability. Whatever energy I do have goes toward writing the book itself rather than updates.