Posts Tagged ‘inspiration’

In the Spirit of Hugh Howey

Posted: January 24, 2014 in Inspiration
Tags: ,

Just read this inspirational blog post by sci-fi sensation Hugh Howey (aren’t they always inspirational?)called “The Secret to Success.” That piqued my interest immediately since success has always been something I’ve been interested in.

It caused me to get up off my butt and clean my entire apartment. I washed the dishes, made my bed (even though it’s 9:30 at night), and put things in order.

I submitted my files to Amazon to get the Darkness paperback ready, something I’ve been meaning to get to for the last few days.

It even made me write this silly blog post.

The gist is…if there’s something that needs doing, do it. Right now. Don’t wait.

The logic is basic. If there’s something that needs to be done, you’ll have to do it anyway. Might as well do it now and save yourself the stress of having to worry about it later.

I’m going to consciously implement this more into my life. There’s aspect to the book business that are less savory to me (basically, everything that isn’t writing or interacting with fans, but nonetheless important).

I’ve been having a lot of trouble wrapping my head around how fast things seem to be taking off.

I have been stunned by the response the The Wasteland Chronicles has gotten in the past week. I really don’t want to say numbers right now, but let’s just say I’m getting more downloads a day than I got a month, at least when I first started out. It was all because of setting my first book to be permanently free, which probably increased my sales by a factor of three.

Then, on the twenty first, the BookBub promotion, went out, which kickstarted my first book to visibility. Apocalypse got to, and stayed, in Amazon’s top 100 free for five days straight. It peaked at #7 on the twenty second, and hung in the Top 25 for a while after. On Apple, Apocalypse has been the number one downloaded science fiction (or at least held that spot) every day since the twenty first. It’s tapering off, now, and it’s been so much coming in that I’m starting to wonder whether this is going to last a lot longer that the one month I originally expected it to.

It is absolutely amazing. I haven’t really told anyone about it except my parents and family, because I’m still afraid it’s not real. I never expected this much of a reaction. I will be at work, and then the thought will hit me: I’ve sold over 100 books today. It doesn’t seem real. It seems ridiculous.

And it’s not only people downloading the books, they are leaving good reviews and even reaching out to me to let me know  how much they enjoyed them.

In short, it’s a dream come true. This September has been my craziest, best ever month in writing. But I wouldn’t be here today without all the support I’ve received, from friends, family, and fans. And of course, working hard through the times when I’d go days without a sale.

I’m hard at work on Book 4, and it should still be out on the 1st. Needless to say, a lot more people are waiting on this release than Book 3. The pressure is on, but it’s a good pressure. It makes me want to continue improving. I’ve gotten a lot better since book 1, and I’m trying to keep it that way.

So far, Revelation is 71,000 words, the longest installment so far by a long shot. I’m adding on a few more thousand words, but it’s already been edited through three times by yours truly. The majority of the weekend will be spent editing and getting rid of typos. I will have my dad helping me out with that, and maybe some other people. It’s a lot of work to do in a short amount of time. I plan on hitting publish Monday night, so it’s available in the  morning.

I can hardly wait. Thank you so much to everyone – to everyone who found the book for free, and everyone who took a chance on it back in the day. It means the world to me.

Well, since publishing the first book of The Wasteland Chronicles last December, the series has now reached it’s 1,000th sale (actually, on 1,005 at the moment). It’s hard to believe that in less than a year’s time, one thousand people have purchased one of my books, in one form or another. Like…actually paid, for something I wrote.

It makes me excited about the possibilities of the future. The more books I publish, the more people take interest.  I started off last December getting 56 sales, which knocked my socks off, and it’s more or less been positive growth since then. Adding the second and third book to the series helped pick up momentum a bit. Even though August is typically a slow month for books sales, adding on that third book has made August my best selling month so far (177, and hoping to reach 200). If these are my sales at three books, what will it be like when I have four? Five? Six? (Alright, you get the picture now).

I just feel so happy and excited about the future. At this point last year, I was simply not there at all. I dreamed of getting to the point of where I am now, and now that I’m here, it’s just amazing. It inspires me to keep writing.

For the first time in a while, I’m going to write a post. I used to do this more often, but I have just been letting general busyness get to me, I guess. I think that is a good thing, overall. With my new job, I have much more time to write, and it’s really showing. I began my new manuscript two Mondays ago (Aug. 5th) and it is already nearing 19,000 words. At this rate, the first draft might even be done by the end of the month – and hopefully from there, will be published anywhere e-books are sold by the end of September (and hopefully, a paperback will be available as well).

So far, I’m very pleased with how things are going. I think I’m reaching a point where all this hard work is starting to pay off. Don’t get me wrong; it was paying off from the very beginning. People are finding my writing, and (generally) enjoying it. I’m finding new readers, slowly. It’s encouraging, especially in that I do very little to promote my work outside of the occasional Goodreads giveaway (to which people enthusiastically respond, just from the sheer premise of the book and the cover art). It’s encouraging to see people going onto the next in the series. It tells me I’m doing at least something right.

I honestly couldn’t be happier (except, maybe, if I became, in the words of Forrest Gump, a “gazillionarie”). To me, it’s always been about the writing. Writing is what I believe I’m best at, and it’s what I have the most fun doing – which is why it’s amazing to see anyone read and enjoy my work. I’ve always known that if I wanted to reach the stars, my best chance of getting there was honing my craft and becoming the best writer I could possibly be. What I write isn’t the most intellectual stuff, but my goal is to write a fast-paced story that is hard to put down, something that hopefully has good characters that readers can grow to love (and hate) over the series. Basically, the kind of stuff I like to read, mostly in science fiction and fantasy realms (though I do read outside of those genres as well).

It’s always a work in progress, and I’m always learning. It takes a while to get where you’re going, especially when where you’re going is always changing. I expect that as I keep writing, my goals will always be shifting. I will always be aiming higher, to craft a better story and to reach more readers. I’d always intended to self publish the Wasteland Chronicles, owing to the novella format. In the end, it was the right decision. Self-publishing allows me to write, edit, and reach my readers faster than any other means.

It’s a lot of fun, and if you had told me a year ago that by this point I’d have three more books published, I’d want to find a time machine. Last year around this time, I was pretty depressed because I wasn’t doing what I wanted to do. I wasn’t writing (at least, not as much as I am now). I dreamed of getting to a point where I was writing and managing my books on a daily basis. On August 13th last year, I was working a depressing job and struggling to cobble together the first, short draft of what was to be called “The Wasteland Journals.” A couple weeks ago, I found a really old manuscript of that draft and thought it had been written by a retarded fish.

I have come a long way. And the progress I’m making now makes me look forward and dream to where I’ll be a year from now. A year from now, The Wasteland Chronicles will have long been done. I might be working on a second series by that point (perhaps set in the same universe). I might begin work on the epic fantasy series I’ve always wanted to write as a kid. I will likely have eight or nine + books published. By the end of this year alone, I will have at least two more published, and hopefully, with the time my new job affords, maybe even more.

I feel like nothing can stop me, for the first time in my life. I’m not my own worst enemy anymore. I’m finally doing what I want to do, and it feels great.

If I were to tell my full story of life and writing, it would be many thousands of words. If I were to write this fifty years from now, it might be a hefty book (or two).

Now, I just want to concentrate on my thoughts of my writing and my life in the past few years.

For as long as I remember, I’d always been fascinated with reading. When other kids were out getting into shenanigans, I was in my bed reading J.K. Rowling, Robert Jordan, Isaac Asimov, or whatever author I was into at the time. I would read whenever I got the chance, between classes, on car rides, wherever. By the first grade, I was a book junkie, and by high school, my addiction had manifested into the desire to become a real life writer.

Now, at the ripe age of 25, I’ve written five books, two of which are self-published (and a third that will be within a week). If I had started realizing my potential earlier, maybe I would have written much more.

In the past four months alone I’ve started taking this writing thing a lot more seriously. I’ve done more for myself and my writing than at any other point in my life. I was stuck in a rut, writing-wise, for a long time. I feel like there were a lot of years where I wrote hardly at all, and if I did, the book was never finished because I didn’t know what else to do with it.

In 2010, I finished my first real book, with my friend Jelani Sims. It took two years of outlining and writing to finish it, but it got finished. Looking back, it could have, and should have, been done a lot quicker.

We had no idea what we were doing. We just worked on it, taking our best guesses on what should be done. We stopped outright at several points, only to start writing on it again somewhere else down the line.

Then, I learned the job wasn’t over when the book was finished. I learned about the joys of editing, copy editing, formatting, and marketing.

Well, we really did not learn that (at first). We published Night of the Necromancer in early 2011. It was exciting at first. There was a lot of fanfare, and it got some press. I think even to this day the book sits somewhere in OU Gaylord’s illustrious halls (perhaps in the professional writing alcoves)?

But after the first string of sales, everything just…died. It became clear, a few months in, that it was only our friends and family that bought it. No one else was interested, and I had no idea why. The book was great…wasn’t it?

Yeah, the story was good. That’s what a few random reviewers said. But why wasn’t anyone buying it?

I’d read some articles about some authors who found a lot of success by lowering their book prices to $.99 in order to get exposure, so I thought that might be what the problem was. So, we lowered the price from $3.99 to $.99. We got a few more sales, but by the time all was said and done, the royalties about broke even.

Then, I just got depressed about it, because I truly believed that was all there was to it. You write something, it either works out or it doesn’t. I think that depression created a block from me ever writing. I would write, but the projects wouldn’t get finished. I vowed that my next book would see an agent next time.

I attempted a fantasy novel a few times, always getting slammed to a halt about 50,000 words in (always when they got to that dreaded oracle scene). I may have attempted a few other things, I’m not sure. I was also working a job that was just downright depressing and boring, which certainly did not help.

I think the overall feeling was one of powerlessness. I tried to make something work, and it didn’t.

I didn’t know anything back then. I didn’t know what I had done wrong, but now I know exactly what I did wrong. And I’m learning what I’m doing wrong all the time. I’m still doing a lot wrong, but the most important lesson is learned: I have a sense of power, and I recognize that even if I make mistakes, I can correct them or at least do better next time. And as I keep on doing that, my writing will get better, and the way I get my writing out there will be better.

What I did wrong:

1. I had bad quality. My problem was not pricing, as I had previously thought. After all, who backs down from paying $3.99 for a book they want to buy? Hardly anyone. Actually, $3.99 is very cheap for a book, even an e-book. That’s just a little over the price for a gallon of gas. The problem was one of quality. Not quality of story, but the actual text of the story. The formatting was horrible and not user-friendly. There were typos galore. The cover art was good, but even good cover art can’t make up for typos. This is just a fact. There are hundreds of other choices within the same genre that a reader can go to. Yours has to stand out above the rest, and be professional, or you will not be taken seriously. Recently, a reviewer pointed out my grammar and typos, giving me one star. At first, I felt upset and angry. Then, I realized that it was my fault. Maybe I couldn’t fix my characters without a complete rewrite, which is something else this reviewer pointed out, but I could at least hire a copy editor to fix the typos. I did. And the book is better for it.

2. I did not stay updated with the industry. I did not read blogs, articles, or forums where other writers gathered to talk about writing and the promotion thereof. I wished every day, when I was not writing, that I had a great community of writers to learn from. For some reason, it never occurred to me to go searching for one online. I think as I read the Kindle forums, KBoards, and blog posts of other self-publishing authors, I started to learn what I was doing wrong. If I had done this earlier, I could have taken advantage of many opportunities to advance my career, opportunities I will never have again. Then again, I’m glad I am wise enough to keep updated with self-publishing related things, because now I am more conscientious of what I need to be doing to be successful at it.

3. I did not promote. You can write the greatest book in the world, but no one will read it unless they find it. And readers can’t find it unless there is someone to tell them about it, in some form or other, whether it’s the author his or herself, or a friend. I have done almost zero promotion for the past month, and it shows. If I had promoted a bit more, solicited more blogs, done more giveaways, or found new avenues for promotion, my sales would not be so slow.

4. I did not read enough. Reading inspires you to write. When you read great books, it makes you say, “Hey, I want to write!” It really is like magic. I find my writing flow is so much better when I’m reading constantly.

5. I did not write enough. It’s really hard to talk about all the steps, and how they work together, but this one is a biggie. I had major lack of motivation. I think it stemmed from the lack of success and discouragement of Night of the Necromancer (which came from a skewed perspective of what “success” was). Success is the journey, not the end. Truer words have never been spoken, because the journey never ends. Success is getting better, being better than you were yesterday, and not giving on something that truly matters to you. Give up on everything else, but don’t give up on something that matters to you – and only you can be sure of what that is. I’ve never doubted, for a moment, that writing was what I wanted to do. I have the talent, I have the drive…why not go for it? Why waste my short life doing things that don’t matter, in the end?  I sort of lost focus on a lot of things post-college, and it took a while to find my feet. It’s important that in whatever field you choose, that you make it your passion and learn all you can about it, and correspond with others in it.

It’s also important to recognize the brevity of life and to do what you want with your life, while you still have it. That realization was very big for me. I have other goals in life, too, but writing books is the main one for now.

I think it’s amazing that anyone can publish a book using Amazon, Smashwords, B&N, Kobo, Apple, Sony, etc.. I think it’s amazing that someone on the other side of the world can buy one of my books. I think it’s amazing that someone on the other side of the world can buy one of my books and completely trash it.

I know that I have been downloaded in the U.S., U.K., France, Italy, Germany, Australia, Japan, among other places, I’m sure. The few giveaways of done where thousands of copies of my books were downloaded were mind-blowing. The almost two thousand people that requested copies of The Wasteland Chronicles on the Goodreads giveaways section was also mind-blowing. I’ve had real life successes that give me fire to go on, which was something I was lacking before. So far, I’ve sold hundreds of copies of my books. I don’t think I’ve hit the thousand mark overall, but I’m closer to a thousand now than zero. Not enough to live on, but enough to keep trying and to keep pushing. I feel like by the end of this year, things will be moving a lot faster. Even if they’re not, I’m going to keep writing. Because that’s what writers do. And that’s what I’ve learned to do.

Maybe self-publishing isn’t the right path for everyone, but it is the right path for me, at least at this moment. As long as you’re self-motivated enough, and you have the talent and the drive, you have a shot at succeeding at writing. Not a guarantee, but a shot. That’s what I want: to succeed at a job that I’ve always wanted to do, which is to tell stories that entertain, and hopefully, when I get better at it, make people laugh, cry, and think.

Since college, I’ve never truly wanted any other job, other than to write full time. I always just assumed it would happen, that a muse would drop out of the ether and God would somehow write through my pen. Don’t worry, I’ve come down to Earth a bit since then. I’m trying my hardest to succeed, and I am getting better at this. I’m not there yet, I haven’t really found my voice yet, but I will.

Hopefully, I can tell more of my story at some future date. Right now, the main goal I have is getting Origins online. I’ve incorporated my copy editor’s fixes and all things are go as soon as I give both books 1 and 2 a back to back read. That should happen on Saturday, at the latest.

After that? Time to write Book 3, Extinction. And hopefully update the paperback of Book 1 to get rid of the typos. And promotion. Always, always, promotion.

1. Today I wrote about 6-7,000 thousand words to complete my novella. Total of about 39,000 words.

I have no idea whether or not it’s good. I guess I’ll find out when I read it over again and see what needs to be fixed.

I have never written a book as fast as I’ve written this one. In a few days, I’m going to go back and start the editing.

2. I’ve heard back from 10 blogs that want to review Night of the Necromancer. I have 10 reviews (some slotted for February/March, 2-3 interviews, and a couple of giveaways is pretty good. It’s only been a couple days, so I may hear back from more. It is amazing to think that 10 blogs will be reviewing my book, some of them overseas. It’s pretty mind blowing, and awesome. These book bloggers are amazing people.

3. Even though it feels like I did a lot today, it still felt slow for some reason. I still need to go through Apocalypse and make sure the changes my professor suggested get implemented throughout. After that, promotion time…and the working on a physical copy with my illustrator, Luke Atkinson.

4. I also need to redo the print version of Night of the Necromancer to keep it updated with the online version. That’s a project for another day, but Apocalypse 2.0 needs to get done. That is the priority number one.

As I sit down to do writing stuff, or even book promotion, I really wish it were my full time job. I’ll get there, someday.

5. Speaking of, I got a call from Hobby Lobby. Pending I pass a drug test , I should be starting in the warehouse moving boxes and suchlike things. I’m glad to have a job again. In total, I’ve only been without for a week. I feel incredibly lucky that this worked out. I’m a bad interviewee because I’ll get nervous and talk fast, but I just have to sit through and deal with it. I’m just glad it went alright. Also, my good friend Jon gave me an amazing reference. It just might have clinched the deal.

5. I appeared on a podcast. I listened to The Storyboarders while at work, but since I probably won’t be able to listen to my iPod anymore at work, I’ll have find another time for it. I appear on Episode 13. I talk a little bit about working on Night of the Necromancer with Jelani, as well as a bit about self-promotion, the journey I’ve been learning for the past few weeks or so.

6. Things are good. I’m occupied every moment in something I really enjoy. Starting next week, I’ll most likely be starting my new job.

Anyway, that’s all for now. I’m sleepy so sorry if there are weird wording things. It’s been a lot of writing today.

I am a huge Stephen King fan. Well, I say that when I’ve only read three of his books. Actually, four counting Bag of Bones.

I read The Stand when I was a teenager, maybe fifteen or sixteen. The extended, 1100 page version. I was completely floored and finished the entire book in about a week. It was books like that which made me want to become a writer.

I also read Carrie when I was in college…that was also quite the fun read.

On Writing still remains perhaps the best book about writing I’ve read…not so much because it gives you the nuts and bolts, but because King’s words of wisdom proved to invaluable to me, such as: write every day, read a lot, don’t watch too much TV/play too many video games, expect rejection, etc…

I know these are things that any successful writer would tell you…all the same, King has been one of my many author mentors, as I’m sure he has been for thousands of others.

And now, I have in my mail what many consider to be his magnum opus: The Dark Tower. I am super excited to start these. In the forward, Stephen King says The Dark Tower was the ambition of an arrogant nineteen year old, and I love that. I have such arrogant ambitions myself with a fantasy series I’ve been cooking up since my early teens.

Stephen King said The Dark Tower was his Lord of the Rings: the same scope and ambition, only in an American, fantastical setting.

Also, I love the cover box. I think I got this off Amazon for about twenty bucks.

Dark Tower

The Stand

Carrie

on writing

bag of bonesBy the way, Mr. King (if you just so happen to be reading this)…when you type in “The Wasteland” in Amazon my title appears next to yours. 😛

One day about two months ago, I was sitting during my lunch break and got the idea to write a list of “rules” that a writer should live by. I came up with about forty (really 31 rules, but some had sub-rules). Really it was just another expression of my nerdiness in trying to quantify/describe something. Here are some of them, and in brackets what I now think of them a couple months down the road:

1. Write every single day, no exceptions.

[I still believe this is true, though ONE exception might be made – if you are editing a book you have finished, this counts as writing. I think it is still important to create new content, like a blog post.]

2. Write at least 1,000 words per day, even if you have to bleed for them.

[This is Stephen King’s and many other writers’ adage. I think it is a great rule. Granted you do a thousand words or more every day, you can be done with the first draft of most novels in two to three months. Novellas are even shorter, from a month to a month and a half. You can do a short story a week, counting editing and everything else.]

2a. Don’t wait to become inspired. Just become inspired.

[I still think this is VERY true. I’m not really a believer in any sort of mysticism, even if art seems to have a mystical quality to it. I think the idea that inspiration drops out of the ether takes credit away from the ingenuity of humans. I think we are all capable of amazing things…a lot of it is believing that we can do those things.]

2b. Some days you won’t want to write. Maybe most days. Write anyway.

[Like above, still very true. Sometimes, writing is a job. But as far as jobs go, it is pretty fun.]

2c. The Muse is a flighty thing; don’t wait for hours for her to arrive, like a pretty girl not arriving on time for a date (if at all). The Muse keeps her own schedule you are not privy to, and besides, you have writing to do. When she comes, do not dismiss her; let her guide you for her powers are far beyond that of you, a mere mortal.

[I still like the analogy of the Muse being a pretty girl who may or may not show up for a date. I think the Muse is a mysterious thing – some days she likes you, some days she could care less, some days you are own your own. But when she does decide to show up, amazing things happen. It’s not really our place as writers to question where she has been, or why she is not spending more time with you – it is just to be grateful for her company, because the Muse is always out of your league. Have a set time you write every day, so the Muse knows where to find you. Nothing is more annoying than the Muse showing up at an inopportune time when you are far from desk, notepad, and pen (though she will always do so anyway just to mess with you As a side note, I think the wording is kinda silly toward the end, but I may have just been feeling silly that day.]

Maybe I’ll add some more of the things I came up in a future post. After all there is still 30 or so of them.

Since this is getting a little long, I think it’s time to go. I have an interview this morning. It should go well, but wish me luck, ladies and gents!

Toughness

Posted: December 19, 2012 in Inspiration, Writing
Tags: , ,

Haven’t posted for a while. I want to post at least three to four times a week, but lately I really haven’t much to talk about.

Apocalypse is doing just fine, thank you. It’s actually doing slightly more than I expected to, which is great. It feels good. Lately, I’ve been feeling rather discouraged concerning my writing, but seeing the results is giving me a much needed push.

I’m 4,500 words into my next novella, a new series that has working title of Dark Prophecies. I got some cool ideas (I think). The trick is just weaving them together into a compelling yarn.

All that news aside…for those who follow my Facebook, you know I have taken up running lately. I’m sure you’ve noticed the inundation of running alerts that seem to fly at your stunned and disbelieving face approximately once every several hours. And I know you love them.

I took it up last year for a brief stint (about two months), but had no idea what I was doing. Curiously, I didn’t research it to find the most effective way to do it and improve.

I’ve been running since October, and I’m in much better shape than before. I’m on a 10K in 55 minutes training plan…not because there is a particular 10K I’m training for, but because I want to use that plan as launching pad to jump into a half-marathon training plan – probably two hours, which is very doable by late April. I may adjust for a faster time, depending on how training goes.

I write about running because I’m at a point where improving is starting to become increasingly difficult. I was amazed with my training plan that by week three I was running five miles (albeit at a very slow pace). Distance was no problem.

Going faster was the hard part.

I just got back from an almost seven mile run, where I had to do seven half mile stints at an 8:30/mile average pace. For a serious runner, this is a breeze. However, being a newbie meant this was the most difficult run I had to do.

I’ve never really been that physical of a person. I sucked at sports as a kid. I had a zero batting average one year in little league (no…I’m not joking. I was pretty pathetic). I was better at art and, yes, writing. And video games.

It never really occurred to me for most of my life that I might be able to do something physical, because I had failed at it so hard my whole life that had no success to reinforce me in that direction. In fact, the first time I ran I was embarrassed and thought I looked stupid. I guess I just didn’t see the point. But after graduating college, being inactive sitting 8+ hours a day at a desk, I knew something had to change. I didn’t really gain weight, but I still didn’t feel good about myself. I wanted to be in shape while I was still young, so I made a goal to make working out a priority.

I started running last October, and I don’t know why I didn’t start sooner. Those first runs were hard – even getting to two miles nonstop was very difficult. It took toughness, even if a little bit – the willing yourself to go on, despite pain. That is how we all grow, physically, mentally, spiritually.

Normally on my speed work (runs designed to help you increase your speed), I haven’t been able to maintain the target speed for the speedy stretches. Tonight was different, because I actually succeeded. In fact, for the first two stints I ran faster than I was supposed to (averaging 7:45/mile and 8:00/mile for both of them. I started to realize a lot of my limitations weren’t physical – they were mental. I did have the strength to push myself on if I willed myself.

I’m also realizing that if you want to improve at running, you have to be consistent. Thanksgiving week, I didn’t run once, and I paid for it. My average pace dropped almost by a full minute per mile.

I’m thinking a lot of disciplines are the same way – repeating a discipline builds a habit, be it a sport, martial arts, or…you guessed it…writing.

Every successful writer I’ve ever read says if you’re serious about writing, you do it everyday…not just everyday, but at least 1,000 words a day. I missed yesterday, but I intend to get my words done today. Not counting this post, of course. I’m talking fiction.

There’s a lot of toughness to writing, too. Like running, you can always improve. You can never just coast along, write the same book twice. I mean, you could, but you wouldn’t be getting better. I feel like I’m in a period of growth, writing-wise. A year ago, I would have said quality of writing, not quantity, matters. Now, I think it’s the opposite when you are starting out. Someone who’s learning, like me, needs to learn to write a lot. The more you write, the more mistakes you make. The more mistakes you make, the more you learn.

It takes toughness to sit down everyday and type words, especially when the Muse doesn’t want to show up. The Muse is a flighty thing – it’s your job to show up as the writer, but the Muse can do whatever the hell she wants. Sometimes, she’ll show up when you’re nowhere near a computer, and the words she whispers in your ear are lost. Sorry if that analogy was weird, it felt weird and creepy writing it.

Anyway, point is, this is something I want to show up to every day. I’m learning. I’m glad my new novella is doing better than I expected. I hope more people get to read it. I’m excited to write more on that series, as I really like the world. But I’m also very excited by this new series I’ve started. Fantasy is one of my favorite genres to write in, if not my favorite. And it’s also exciting to not to do something medievally and cliche.

This has been a long post/rant. I apologize; I really didn’t have the time to write a shorter one.

I am in no way saying that I’m tough; I’m just saying we all have the potential to be. I’m just saying I’m starting to get it.

Don’t really want to spend much time on a post today, but I heard something that’s gotten me thinking: “Giving up is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

I’ve been thinking that as far as my writing. I came home, feeling pretty down. I don’t know why. I think it comes from the fact that I know I won’t ever be happy having a quote/unquote real job. I’ve always wanted to work/write for myself, and that’s it. Not that a real job is bad; maybe I’m disillusioned by the whole thing.

I’m getting better at not letting things get to me. It’s important to try and stay consistent and get things done, even when you’re not feeling up to it.

I started writing on my new story, getting about 1,500 words in. All in all, I really like it. I don’t know if any of it will remain in the final product, but it’s good to be writing and getting it out. This story has me excited.

As far as the quote, I think hard times, for the most part, are temporary. After one set of them, you’re onto another. And sometimes, feeling down for no reason just happens and you have to roll with it. Some days are just better than others, and oftentimes there’s no rhyme or reason to it.

It’s encouraging to see that my book is doing better than I expected. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not quitting my job anytime soon. But it gives me hope that things might get better for me. I think, writing-wise, I want to stick with doing novellas on Kindle for a while. I do want to submit stuff to agents, someday, but for now at least this seems like the course for me. It gets me practice and I’m still in the learning phase.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but it is taking a really long time to figure out what that looks like. I finally feel like I’m going down the track and making progress. I’m working on it every day. I’m always thinking about my next story. I get excited when I sit down to write, and I feel encouraged by everyone’s support. In the end, you can’t do it just for others; on some level, you have to it for yourself, because it’s what you really want, just like any other thing – or you won’t be happy.

I’ve doubted lots of things in my life. Nothing has been off the table. But rarely have I doubted that writing is what I want to do with my life. As I said, it’s something I’ve always wanted to do, and the pieces are coming together, slowly, and I’m starting to see a picture. I’m realizing the picture is me, in a way.

Before that sounds too narcissistic  I just meant it in this way; I think when you know yourself, the rest comes a lot easier. Knowing yourself is one of the hardest things ever, and something I’ve been trying to figure out for a while. Then again, it’s a balance, and you don’t want to over-analyze, which is probably my cardinal sin. I think I’m getting better with that, too. Writing helps.

Anyway, I think what I’m working on now has a shot to be really good. It has darker themes, but in a good way. It’s still in its infancy, but this “figuring out the story” part is my favorite part of writing – when the possibilities seem endless and you write and experiment and fail until you find what works. You just dive in, trying new things, and pray that it works. Like life.

I said short post, but this is turning into one of my longest so far. So…yeah. That’s all I have to say about that.